Other People's Lists

Oh Doctor, don't you know?

2009-07-10T16:58:00.000-07:00

All of that sirloin and dairy will become impacted in your colon?

Idiot

2009-07-10T16:52:00.000-07:00

When you misuse the hyphen, it exponentially increases your brain-deadedness. Yogurt.

Thank you,

2009-07-10T16:51:00.000-07:00

for leaving such gold just lying around.

Compulsive Returner

2009-07-10T16:49:00.000-07:00

And in case she forgot, the list she wrote herself continues on the other side of the paper.

Yawn.

2009-07-10T16:48:00.000-07:00

I'd hate to have dinner at your house.

I beg to differ.

2009-07-10T16:31:00.001-07:00

How about if I grabbed one of those suckers and ran?

Oh boy...

2009-07-10T16:29:00.000-07:00

Easter Equine Encephalitis, what a treat.

Not a list, but I couldn't help it.

2009-06-01T06:57:00.000-07:00

It's been pilin' up awhile.

2009-05-10T19:28:00.000-07:00

While you're at it, the kids' closets are full of garbage too. If you could empty those it'd be great. See ya in a week!

Mom's Speech

2009-05-10T09:51:00.000-07:00

Box for donations, then straight to the bank.

Do Bill....

2009-05-10T09:49:00.000-07:00

Offensive Ricky's gonna get it.

Large "Asshole Style"

2009-05-10T09:48:00.000-07:00

Sounds like terrible chicken soup to me.

A Psycho with a Pen

2009-05-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

..who really likes Muir Glen products.

To the Anonymous List-giver..

2009-03-03T15:06:00.000-08:00

Thank you.

And if you'd like to contribute as well, I would appreciate it.

No Idea.

2009-03-03T15:05:00.000-08:00

But I like it.

Untitled for Once.

2009-03-03T15:04:00.001-08:00

There are Many Ways to Say it.

2009-03-03T15:02:00.000-08:00

I really hope "wipetrons" is another word for toilet paper.

Nice Try Son.

2009-03-03T14:58:00.000-08:00

Arthur Levine is a puppy-hater, and a dream-crusher.

Sylvie Knows What She Wants.

2009-03-03T14:56:00.000-08:00

And Topping the List....

2009-03-03T14:54:00.000-08:00

...Johnny Walker. Then breakfast.

Atrocious Handwriting.

2009-02-15T16:10:00.000-08:00

Really. It's awful.

Yam.

2009-02-15T16:09:00.000-08:00

Yam.

Words Cannot Describe...

2009-02-15T16:07:00.000-08:00

The awesome-ness of this one. Thanks Sam.

Couldn't Write the List at Home...

2009-02-15T16:05:00.000-08:00

Written on one of our bakery bags.

Glad that was on the List

2008-12-27T15:13:00.000-08:00

What would I have done had I left the market without a job. And a lemon and some chicken.

You know....

2008-12-27T15:12:00.000-08:00

...you can totally can that stuff yourself for free.

All You Need to Know

2008-12-27T15:11:00.000-08:00

Is it possible....

2008-12-27T15:07:00.000-08:00

to completely misspell almost every item on the list?

Can and did.

Didn't even make a valid attempt at "worcestershire".

Filet

2008-12-27T15:05:00.000-08:00

Isn't it a weird looking word when you see it written so many times.....filet.....

3 1/2?

2008-12-27T15:01:00.000-08:00

If you can't tell by the scan, this one's on a piece of rolling paper.

Thanks Seth.

Time to Make the Drugs...

2008-11-21T08:25:00.000-08:00

Mom's Embarrassing Note

2008-11-21T08:23:00.000-08:00

I ONLY EAT EQUAL EXCHANGE!

2008-11-21T08:21:00.000-08:00

Oh Whole Foods.... Only there would I find a list like this...

Oooo aaaa....

2008-11-21T08:19:00.000-08:00

pppp.

Some Unconventional Ingredients

2008-11-14T10:01:00.000-08:00

And Don't Forget...

2008-11-14T09:58:00.001-08:00

...to kiss the Bobos, and to hug Lil the thrill.

I'm Sorry Kids

2008-10-28T11:50:00.000-07:00

"This year we won't be having Mama's famous noodle kugel. I lost her age-old recipe, passed down from mother to daughter for generations."

The Children begin to cry.

Dad pounds his fist on the dining room table and shouts,

"Dammit Charlene!"

Dad storms out of the room knocking a vase to the floor on his way out.

Charlene buries her face in her hands and begins to sob uncontrollably.

Dinner was ruined.

A Winning Team

2008-10-28T11:47:00.000-07:00

Leading the community in serious power suits, and helmet hair.

DON'T FORGET THE GODDAMN BASIL

2008-10-28T11:46:00.000-07:00

You know what happens when you do....

A Cell is Round

2008-10-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

And I don't care that Diane called.

Old School Anorexia

2008-10-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

Thank you Sarah and Eighn! This one is crazy. And old.

Child Psycho Goes to the Grocery Store.

2008-10-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

I NEED 3 Plumbers and 502 cups. Got my facial already though.

They Were Promptly Arrested.

2008-10-28T11:26:00.000-07:00

You'll have to find that ingredient in an alleyway somewhere.

The Cupboards Were Empty

2008-10-28T11:24:00.000-07:00

I feel bad for the cashier on this one.

Another Stellar Speller

2008-10-28T11:17:00.000-07:00

Thanks Malibu.

"Moving Ideas"

2008-10-28T11:14:00.000-07:00

And two carbon atoms in the mozzarella and the goat.

Thanks Ashley.

Maam, I Think You Must be Mistaken.

2008-10-28T11:10:00.000-07:00

We keep the T.Vs at the meat counter.

Irreverent Paper

2008-10-07T08:50:00.000-07:00

Thanks Joe

Does This Look Like a McDonalds?

2008-10-07T08:49:00.000-07:00

Disgusting.

What Will She Say to SHARON?

2008-10-07T08:47:00.000-07:00

Without her pre-planned conversational hot points, how will the phone call play out? Static. Dead air.

So Straight. So Organized.

2008-10-07T08:44:00.000-07:00

Yet still can't spell tomato.

Dad's Hat

2008-10-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

This one came directly at me down the conveyor belt. Thanks kid. I hope you remembered dad's hat.

Control Freak

2008-09-30T21:02:00.001-07:00

It sounds delicious, up until the whole cornflakes and toothpaste deal.

Life Dreams.

2008-09-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

The life goals of a total weirdo.

Rim Man?

2008-09-22T09:58:00.000-07:00

OHH! Cars! Ellis should probably re-think his motto.

Only the Holiest for My Lips.

2008-09-22T09:57:00.000-07:00

Someone must be trying to rid themselves of sin.

We Got a Drinker.

2008-09-22T09:55:00.000-07:00

Is Vodka spelled with a "W", a "Q" or a "V"? Fuck, I'll use em all.

I Would Otherwise Forget

2008-09-22T09:53:00.000-07:00

Only the necessities.

The Mystery Item!

2008-09-20T21:40:00.000-07:00

A surprise! With cupcakes and ice cream already on the list, what could the mystery be? Something shameful I assume? She did write I<3 I at the end. At least she's confident.

I've Always Been Curious. What IS a "Good Poo?"

2008-09-20T21:37:00.001-07:00

This is definitely one of my personal favorites. A neurotic, self-deprecating individual writes down her thoughts and carelessly leaves them in a hand-basket. Thank God.

Do I Really Need Calcium?

2008-09-20T21:32:00.000-07:00

Nope, but pork chops and eggs are a must-have.

The First List

2008-09-20T21:20:00.000-07:00

At Whole Foods Market, there isn't much to do in the way of entertainment. When it all seemed useless and futile, I found a list. Ever since the first one, I became obsessed with keeping every grocery list that I find. My apron is constantly bursting with scraps of paper. My coworkers have begun giving me the ones that they find. I figured I should put them to use. This blog has been a long time coming. I hope you enjoy.

-ahh

I believe that this is the list that started it all. I'm not sure what a "Dof" is, but I think he's hungry.