I'm Sorry Kids

"This year we won't be having Mama's famous noodle kugel. I lost her age-old recipe, passed down from mother to daughter for generations."

The Children begin to cry.

Dad pounds his fist on the dining room table and shouts,

"Dammit Charlene!"

Dad storms out of the room knocking a vase to the floor on his way out.

Charlene buries her face in her hands and begins to sob uncontrollably.

Dinner was ruined.

A Winning Team

Leading the community in serious power suits, and helmet hair.

DON'T FORGET THE GODDAMN BASIL

You know what happens when you do....

A Cell is Round

And I don't care that Diane called.

Old School Anorexia

Thank you Sarah and Eighn! This one is crazy. And old.

Child Psycho Goes to the Grocery Store.

I NEED 3 Plumbers and 502 cups. Got my facial already though.

They Were Promptly Arrested.

You'll have to find that ingredient in an alleyway somewhere.

The Cupboards Were Empty

I feel bad for the cashier on this one.

Another Stellar Speller

Thanks Malibu.

"Moving Ideas"

And two carbon atoms in the mozzarella and the goat.

Thanks Ashley.

Maam, I Think You Must be Mistaken.

We keep the T.Vs at the meat counter.

Irreverent Paper

Thanks Joe

Does This Look Like a McDonalds?

Disgusting.

What Will She Say to SHARON?

Without her pre-planned conversational hot points, how will the phone call play out? Static. Dead air.

So Straight. So Organized.

Yet still can't spell tomato.

Dad's Hat

This one came directly at me down the conveyor belt. Thanks kid. I hope you remembered dad's hat.